Whilst one of the reasons for this blog is to write about our experiences and to give an idea of the kind of things we get up to in the bedroom and elsewhere, one thing we are not about to do is to spill the beans on individual clients and bookings we’ve had. That would be rather unprofessional and indiscreet of us, and we do take care to be discreet at all times. Pity though, as we could probably write page upon page of anecdotes about the strange or funny moments that have happened.
Like our first couple booking. It was probably the funniest booking we’ve had, not because they were funny but just that the situation was. It lasted three hours although we only charged for one, and the specific activity they wanted (well, she wanted) only took about a minute to perform. But that’s all the detail I can give, any more would be unfair.
Then there was the outcall to a posh country hotel one morning. We didn’t look out of place as we always turn up in business attire, so no-one usually notices when we need to go straight to the room rather than meeting in the bar, as we had to on this occasion. As we walked in and casually made for the stairs we were stopped by the receptionist who asked if she could help us.
We’re here for a meeting with [client’s name], we said.
What, in his room?
Well yes, we said.
So she got the porter to show us all the way to the client’s room! Now that could have been embarrassing - more for the client than us perhaps, if he’d happened to have opened the door in his dressing gown. We thought about maybe asking the porter if he’d like to join us and make it a foursome, but it’s probably better that we didn’t. To this day we have no idea if the hotel staff worked out what we were up to.
That’s the thing with being a couple, we can get away with it without being noticed most of the time. Especially if it’s a hotel without any proper form of reception, like the Travelodge we went to one night. But even then, it can be rather disconcerting when there you are, the three of you on the bed, everyone doing something dirty to some part of each other, hands, tongues, cocks and wet holes everywhere, and then someone knocks loudly on the door and slides the breakfast menu under it.
It’s a good thing neither of us is of a nervous disposition.